College reunion books and cancer

Posted by Sappho on August 12th, 2012 filed in Daily Life

My college reunion book arrived the other day. I didn’t submit a page last time, but did this time, since I’ll still be in chemotherapy at the time of the reunion, and likely won’t make it. Actually, almost certainly won’t make it, since I’ll be coming up on a release deadline as well as getting chemotherapy. Anyway, it turns out that I’m not the only one to submit an “I was diagnosed with cancer” page for the reunion book. There are at least two others (I haven’t read everyone’s page yet). One reports, “I am still cancer free nearly two years after my last treatment. Truly a miracle and a gift from God.” The other, less confident of his long term odds, talks about learning “a ready acceptance of what each day brings, good, bad, or indifferent. A distant future is possible (I’m in remission) but if a relapse occurs, as is so often the case, I’ll just deal with it the best I can.”

At the back of the classbook, present this time and absent five years ago, is a list of those from our class who are gone. I could take this, too, as a sign of aging, but in fact one of those gone is Brian Sayre, my college boy friend, who died when I was only twenty-three (and he was twenty-four). It’s good to see him remembered, even just with that one listing of his name, after all these years.

I remember the last conversation I had with him, about God being beyond words.

I did have my kayaking last Monday, as planned. It was great fun. I put the photo up on Facebook. I’m not sure whether I’ll take any more days off, beyond the ones I need for chemotherapy, until after the release.

Yesterday I saw the oncologist. Tomorrow I call to schedule starting chemotherapy again. In the meantime, I’ve been eating all the things I know I’ll soon lack the appetite to eat.

Three more rounds, and then I may (or may not) be done with chemotherapy.