What is life

I wish I knew

the meaning of life

is there one?

I ask it often 

of many people

who claim to know the answer

yet every time 

the answer is different yet similar

and never makes sense

life to me is meaningless

life to me is pain

nothing but pain 

memories I cant reach 

pain that I cant explain 

and an emptiness that consumes me

and drives me mad

is there a meaning to life I do not know

neither does anyone else it seems

I often wish I had the guts to end my life

yet im terrified of what may lie beyond

is there a life beyond life itself?

Are we eternal beings or is this it?

if god does exist what could he possibly want with a disgusting thing like me?

I have asked that of many people

though I stopped because the reactions I got seemed to hurt both sides

I look around and wonder 

is there a point to it all

is there a meaning to it all

what is this thing called life?

Questions I ask often

yet are never answered

I am so empty all the time

is there a reason for how I feel?

I wish I knew

I don't know but I wish I knew